“NEW” Inventions!!

There now exists a product called the "Dock 'n Talk". You buy an old fashioned, plug-it-into-the-wall phone…and buy the Dock 'n Talk and plug your cell phone and the old fashioned phone into and and voila!!! You now have a "docked" phone that is actually running on your cell phone's connection.

The arguments for this include:

• 1)it's easier to hold
• 2)The sound quality is better
• 3)can be located where the cell phone signal in your home is the best

Any day now they are going to come up with a tv without remote capability. "Watch TV and get exercise at the same time!! Get up and change channels! Get up and change the volume! The NEW "Get Up and Go Television"!"

And then…."New revolutionary calculating device! Requires NO solar panels. NEVER needs batteries!
Beautifully hand crafted beads keep track of your numerical entries and aid in complex calculations! New! NEW! THE ABACUS!!!"

And finally…"Keep up-to-date easily. Take today's news with you. Convenient! Easy to carry! Goes everywhere! THE NEWSPAPER!…And when you're finished with it, it has THOUSANDS of uses!

• Start a fire in the fireplace or barbecue grill.
• Line the bottom of a birdcage.
• Wrap unsightly or smelly garbage for easy disposal.
• Clever folding techniques can make unique party favors! Hats! Boats! Winged creatures!

And…It can be delivered RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR every morning! NO confusing news aggregators! NO complicated computers! NO cumbersome, tangled USB cables!

Just get it, read it, forget it! All the news you need, right at your fingertips. Convenient, portable and disposable! What could be easier??

AND…IT'S ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY!! Newspapers can be recycled!

What could possibly be better? Order now!"

Mark my words, people…it's coming.